THIS STRANGE WORLD

For a dead honest look in the mirror, visit a site like this one. When cultural historians look back on America in 2005, I believe they will find no more informative source than internet-borne video clips. These curious artifacts of post-industrial culture need serious investigation by people with backgrounds in art and aesthetics, semiotics, and sociology.

For those geeks who relished every page of Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash," the future is now. Order your room-cleaning robot and kick it sicko-style with your new VR-sexware.

I will not survive in this brave new world. My fascination with the abomination will compel me to watch too many of these damn things. Call it voyeurism or arm-chair cultural studies. It doesn't matter. One day, the "snow crash clip" will melt my mind.

In the year 2005, is it even possible that there are people so hungry for a sense of irony that they would wear this shirt for just one bite? My friends, wear the t-shirt that proclaims loudly and clearly, "I am not a student of history. My faith does not permit me to be."

I can't help my cynicism. I am delighted by the mixture of Christ's message and capitalism. If you love Jesus, buy this shirt. (Who wants to hear some God-rock? Click here.)

Deconstructing this "branding" strategy a bit, I discover first an obvious reference to the golden age of Madison Avenue advertising. I am being sold something. I have fuzzy warm feelings for America in the 1950s: safe, clean, prosperous. I then come to the realization that this aesthetic is borrowed to create the impression of cultural savoir-faire. This shirt is hip.

I admire and respect many people of faith. I do not wish to demean their religious belief in any way. I would only submit that any mixture of the sacred with the profane signals the strong possibility that hypocrisy is afoot. And surely, dear friends, the Lord hath made demeaning for just such hypocrites.

For a wonderful insight into the dynamics of the blogosphere, read this technical explanation of feedback loops written by an audio engineer.

I quote: In every feedback loop, as the name suggests, information about the result of a transformation or an action is sent back to the input of the system in the form of input data. If these new data facilitate and accelerate the transformation in the same direction as the preceding results, they are positive feedback - their effects are cumulative. If the new data produce a result in the opposite direction to previous results, they are negative feedback - their effects stabilize the system. In the first case there is exponential growth or decline; in the second there is maintenance of the equilibrium.

The smartass questions begs asking: Does the exponential growth of the blogosphere portend the decline of meaningful discourse? Visit the website from which I borrowed this quote and see if you can hear Nero's violin play in the background.

Educated at public schools here in America and enabled by the awesome power of the internet, I was able to waste time this evening at a globally competitive rate. I decided to ask the all-powerful Oracle, Google, "What would I be pleased to know?"

Google responded: Just a note to let you know how pleased I am with the Mega Raptor 700R4 transmission I recently purchased from your company. I have installed the tranny in my 1973 Corvette with an American Speed 383 which made 405HP and 480ftlbs of torque on the dyno. I had added Edelbrock Pro Flo fuel Injection in place of the Carb before I replaced the Poor excuse of a transmission that was in the car with the Mega Raptor and a 2X converter. What a difference!!!

So. There you have it. The Mega Raptor 700R4 is posting some monster numbers on the dyno. Just thought you'd be pleased to know.

President Bush, our fearless smirker, has delievered a budget for 2006 to the US Congress. Executives at Lockheed Martin opened champagne while Senate and House democrats quietly nursed domestic beers filled with tears.

150 government programs will either be starved financially or eliminated outright. (Somewhere, Ted Kennedy's speechwriters are probably drinking Johnny Walker Blue label while they scribble down vitriolic phrases for The Official Response.) The budget also calls for a 5.6% cut in "environmental spending" and a 9.6% cut to for the Department of Agriculture. Those on food stamps will face a $32 billion shortfall. Who knows what the cut in farm subsidies will mean to the price of food staples?

The Market, meanwhile, is reacting favorably. The dollar is up against the euro. People are hailing the return to fiscal sanity. As a card-carrying member of the Left, I favor making deficit reduction a central priority. So, why am I laughing and crying?

Well, defense spending is up. Apparently, sacrifice is for the poor. The military seriously needs the money. (Defense spending will rise by 4.8%.)

BUT WAIT! Only $25 billion has been appropriated for military action in Iraq and Afghanistan. The White House has announced that it will seek an additional $80 billion between 2005 and 2006. In other words, we've budgeted for everything except the war. I totally understand the omission. Giving war its own line item would probably result in the recognition that we are at war. That would, in turn, make Bush's statement about "an end to major combat operations in Iraq" seem even more ridiculous.

Look, I'm in a budget crisis right now too. I owe a bit more than I can comfortably stomach. So, guess what? I won't be buying this amazing Florence Knoll credenza that I've found. Using Bush math, I would simply cut my food budget, stop buying friends drinks, and buy the credenza. I would then ask my girlfriend for rent somewhere in the coming few weeks. Actually, it sounds like a plan. I really love that credenza.